the love of the people

I had one of you ask me why Hamas has not won an election in years past. The answer is, this is the first election Hamas has participated in, otherwise the PA would have been demolished years ago.

Here's the thing I have to say: Hamas won not because the majority of Palestinians are terrorists. I feel like that is being so misrepresented on the US news. It is true that most Palestinians are fundamental Muslims, but it is not so that they are all Hamas members, or that all of them have the aim of destroying Israel.

Palestinians love Hamas because Hamas is the leading social group in the Palestinian territories. They are seen as the only group "fighting for" the Palestinians. They provide food, shelter, education, clothing, housing, etc. for thousands and thousands of Palestinians living in refugee camps. They have won the love of the people because they are giving to the people.

Many Palestinian Christians are stuck because the only way they can give their children education is if they attend a Hamas school. It is the only school offered to their children. And there, at the Hamas school, generations are being taught radical Islam. Hamas is the group that comes to their tent at the refugee camp bearing clothes, food stamps, blankets, etc. Hamas is the group that, when they lost their homes, fought to the death trying to win their home back. Hamas is going into these refugee camps and winning the hearts of the people by crying with them, standing with them, helping them through, encouraging them, empowering them, and . . . teaching them about fighting back.

I don't blame the President's response, we will not work with them until they denounce their goal to destroy Israel. I don't know the better political solution. But neither do I blame the Palestinian people for electing the one political group into power that seems to be working to bring about change for them.

Hamas would have been elected years ago, had they not openly rebelled from the democratic process because it was too "western" for them.

preschool

So, I visited a preschool last week, scouting out for Zach in the fall. And afterwards I had two thoughts: wow, he is almost in preschool, and WOW, HE IS ALMOST IN PRESCHOOL!

The first wow was, whoa, where did the time go? he is almost in preschool? how did that happen? there are days when the monotony of life makes everything drag by so slowly. how many times can i play baseball in any given week? or golf? or blocks? or leggos? every day i talk to santa (on zach's play telephone) about 45 times, and we talk about the same things (that santa is just not much of a conversationalist). half way through the week i think, it is ONLY wednesday? geez.

and now here we are, months away from preschool and my baby is not a baby. He has his own interests and wants and particularities (you always put on the shirt first, then the pants, right foot first, then the left). And soon he will be going to school and meeting new people and starting the learning process, and I'm just amazed. he is almost in preschool.

The second wow was, YIPPEE, HE IS ALMOST IN PRESCHOOL! I LOVED the school I visited, and I can see him having sooo much fun there, and he really likes learning in general, and I think he'll love the playground and garden and music room and interacting with all the boys and girls. Even today I picked him up from the nursery at church (while I was at bible study) and he had made a cute, paper bag bird, and he was soooo proud of it. I really am excited for him to grow.

And excited for me too! It will be nice to only have Reagan preschool days--to have quality time with her. And only have one kid. One is much easier than two--and these days she is the easier one (not that Zach is hard, but he is, after all, two years old (and eager to remind me)).

the clincher to all this excitement is: i have 8 months to get Zach potty trained!! but boy am i motivated (i just hope he finds interest soon).

today

11:45 am--15 minutes till gametime













3:45 pm--defeat. it was a sad day.

football update

For those of you that don't watch football, its time for an update. The Broncos are headed for the AFC championship game (Susan, that is American Football Conference)(is it okay to poke fun at you on my blog?) and are playing the Steelers at home. If they win, they will face the winner of the NFC championship game in the superbowl.

A lot of fun things about the Broncos and Steelers. Both teams have been hugely under the radar this year. Both teams have great defense. Both teams have excellent offensive lines. Both teams have key receivers (Smith and Ward). Both teams have good running backs to offset their passing game (and/or overstep their passing game). And both teams have good quarterbacks--not GREAT quarterbacks, but good ones, that don't make a ton of errors. (save the Plummer smack, okay? he's shown a different team and coach makes all the difference in the world. who has done well in AZ?) It really will be a stellar matchup.

One reason why football playoffs are so exciting: they are do or die. You win, you move to the next round. You lose, you're out. Not so in baseball or basketball, when you play the best out of 5 or 7.

So that's the latest. Don't call us on Sunday around 2:45. We'll be busy. :)

it is so UNhelpful

This article just ticks me off. For 5,000 reasons that I cannot get into at 10:10 pm.

on working out

i switched gyms and i love where i now go. it is an all-female gym. already the dynamics are so much more inviting and friendly and non-threatening and non-sexual. you see women there of all ages, most have had babies, most are just trying to stay healthy and balanced.

but the best part of my all-women gym is the childcare. they have GREAT childcare, and my kids have responded so well. And it is very inexpensive, and the gals there are great, and often there are only 4 or 5 kids (including mine) in the gym. It seems to be catered toward young kids, pre-preschoolers.

I tell myself that even if I can only go for 3o minutes, it is worth it. It is a break for me. It is a bit of stress relief. It is time taking care of myself. It usually energizes me. Already in the last two weeks since joining I've noticed I am sleeping better. Anyway, a good decision.

here's hoping i stick with it.

on working

I'm not going to make this post too long (the kids are down, and this is my chance for sleep) (but I feel it could be therapeutic so here goes).

Work. Ah work. Many of you know I work a little on the side, doing marketing and consulting for non-profits. I get to work out of my home. My clients run great ministries with awesome outreach. I write. I advise. I counsel. I strategize.

There are a few things work provides that homemaking does not. (Of course, there are loads of things that homemaking provides that I could never find in the professional world.) But the biggest thing I gain from "working" (AS IF i don't do that now) is: tangible results and affirmation.

I love advising a client and having him/her tell me later that they really valued my input--that I helped pave the way to some critical changes in their organization. I love hearing that the letter I wrote brought in twice as much money for the ministry as the year before, so that the same ministry can be twice as generous in showing God's love in its outreach. I love analyzing the current marketing strategies for the organization and offering ways to improve their message, their communication with their donors. I love the interaction with people, Christians eager to make an impact. I love getting out of my small world of diapers and leggos and wiffle balls.

I know what I do, (in being at home with our children), is invaluable, is the greatest investment I could ever make, is only for a time, and is a privilege that some don't get (or appreciate). But it is hard to do the same mundane things every day, to not hear feedback, to wonder if you are making a difference, to lay yourself down day in and out, to not see results (except for those small "stay-moments" when your nugget hugs his sister or says thank you without prompting).

Not sure where to go with this post . . .

Curtis said it best. He said, "Zachary is going to play a huge role in my redemption process." And I agree so fully. I never new how MUCH it took to give and love and sacrifice until parenthood--sometimes it comes easily. sometimes not so much.

it is tempting to give up the "laying down" of myself for some immediate results. for some relief. for a brief connect with the outside world. for an ounce of variety. for a moment of praise. but it truly is all fleeting--all those things. this parenthood thing . . . it's for keeps. It's like a marriage vow. You never give it less than all. You never set it aside (and you rarely want to). When you wish it away, you stick with it. You work at it. You commit to it. And the love comes full circle again. And through it, you grow deeper and love more richly than you thought possible.

how cute is she?

I just love this age! Reagan is crawling and all smiles. She follows me around the house. She often attempts to sit on my feet. She is super coy. Neighbors smile at her and she tilts her head, smiling, into my shoulder all flirty. When she gets excited, she kicks her legs THUMP, THUMP. She is making all sorts of noises, and laughs at Zach all the time. What a joy.

It's amazing how much you can love both your kids the same, but different. The depth of my love is equal, yet they each have such unique features that make me melt in different ways. I used to worry that my well of love wouldn't run deep enough. But gosh, it is sooo rich and full.

why

Oh why can't i be one of those people that lives happily on 6 hrs of sleep?

Great Mama

This is my grandma Delores, my dad's mom. The kids call her Great Mama. She grew up in North Dakoda, where she met my grandfather, in a tiny town of German immigrants. After getting married, they moved out west and settled in Lodi, where my grandfather ran a grocery store and my grandma looked pretty. She still lives in Lodi, in the house where my dad spent his childhood.

When I was little, my grandma did several great things for us:
-when camping at silver lake, she would wrap in tin foil all kinds of non-gifts for us. wrap kleenex, cornuts, soda, etc. it gave us something to do, and redefined what could be considered a "present".
-play the classic "rack-o" with us (this was a fantastic game--did anyone else play it?)
-let me dress up in all her pretty jewelry
-makes the best peanut butter chocolate balls EVER
-cook me soft boiled eggs whenever I asked (and cracked them perfectly with a knife and then scooped out the middle)
-let me climb in bed with her whenever we slept over

More about her: Every year she volunteers at the Lodi Museum (I'll let you imagine the sophistication of the Lodi Museum) as Mrs. Claus, and she is adorable and half the town thinks she's the real thing. And every summer she spends each weekend living in a trailer at Silver Lake, overseeing the chaplain that does the services at the Silver Lake chapel, making sure his "quarters" are clean and pretty, that he has food and necessities, so that a sermon can be given there in the chapel my grandpa, uncle, and dad built.

Anyway, since none of you may ever meet her in person, Grandma, meet my friends, friends, meet Great Mama.