I dont' know about you, but I am not a dreamer. I have moments of dreaming, but I need more focus. And more courage. And less filter.
I tend to just do.
My friend Ben Arment has started something called Story and Dream Year. I subscribe to his blog, and he often breathes into this abstract, untapped part of me--the part that dreams--the part that wonders ... "Could I ever ...? Wouldn't it be amazing if I could ...?"
And Jon Acuff has recently been talking about dreams too.
And Mark Batterson speaks into this in The Circle Maker: Praying Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams and Greatest Fears.
When I was a little girl my dream was to be an astronaut. And during different stints of my young life I've wanted to be a singer in a legit band or a diplomat. I've wanted to write a book that would actually matter to people. But with all these things, something always stops me. Stops me from going too far down the path of dreaming. Echos of can'ts and buts and shouldn'ts and won'ts, and it never goes anywhere.
And I guilt myself. I say, I'm a mother, and that is the greatest dream I ever had (true). And I'm happily married--yet another dream (true). But I am not only these things. To dream doesn't imply dissatisfaction with what I already have, does it? Because inside me, deep inside me, is a sense that this isn't all I'm supposed to be doing. This is just the beginning, actually, of what He wants for me.
I'm hoping to carve out some time to pray and listen and think about my dreams.
Have you identified your dream? Does this resonate with you?
3 comments:
Love this conversation starter, Karen. And really, it's a conversation starter with God because He puts these dreams on your heart...dreams He dreams for you and longs to fulfill. I'm excited for you: excited to see what He makes of your life through the dreams you give back to Him and let Him unwrap before your eyes. He is so good (capable, doting, generous, limitless). And your heart for Him is so beautiful!
Hey Karen!
First, I love the new look of your blog! Also, I love this post, it totally resonates with me.
I've fought against dreaming most of my life...I've tended to think the more "practical" side of me was "better," and this belief has guided a lot of my past decisions. Stepping out and pursuing an MFA has felt risky and indulgent, but definitely satisfies the dreamer inside of me...that girl who also longs to write a book that matters to people.
And I still struggle with pursuing my dreams while being a steady mom and wife. I often think that my dreams are mutually exclusive, like they can't coexist, or like I have too many...like the great songwriter Neil Young sings..."If you follow every dream, you might get lost."
There's this song by Rend Collective Experiment called "Broken Bread" and one of my favorite lines goes
Gotta let Your dreams come true
Dream through us
Gotta let Your dreams come true through us.
I guess this is where I land with "dreams" lately...trusting and hoping that God would dream through me and that He would make the best dreams He's planted in my heart come true.
Also, this is getting long, but wanted to share one of my favorite Shel Silverstein poems--your post reminded me of it:
LISTEN TO THE MUSTN'TS
Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child,
Listen to the DON'TS
Listen to the SHOULDN'TS
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'TS
Listen to the NEVER HAVES
Then listen close to me--
Anything can happen, child,
ANYTHING can be.
thanks for a great convo Karen, hope you are well!
Lib.
Thank you Jaclyn and Libby for your encouragement. You are right Jaclyn, they are dreams He gives! And Libby, I love that you love growing! XOXO to you both
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