The Mound: "I Can't Do This!"

My 8 year old stands on the mound with tears streaming down his face.  He’s been pitching only half an inning.  The score is 9-0, and we are the zero. 

Only one batter earlier he’d pitched a hard ball down the center of the plate, and the batter cracked a homerun. My usually confident son fell apart, 10-inches elevated, for the crowd to see. 

From the dirt he begged, “Please!  Take me out of the game!  I can’t do it!”

I could see shame etched in the pangs of every expression.  And as his mother, I wanted to grab and shake him and scream truth. 

“Step off the mound, take a deep breath, and SLOW DOWN,” said his Coach, his dad, my husband, and the person who’s taught him more about baseball than anyone.

“I CAN’T!” he pleaded. 

A few more emotional pitches, and he’s pulled.  Pulled from the game he loves.  Chin to his chest, he walks off the dirt, defeated, crying, embarrassed. 

My son, my beautiful, talented, sensitive, smart, gracious, 8-year-old boy stopped believing. 

As we drove home in quiet, blinders fell from my eyes and I knew I was just like him.  I have moments when I’m on the mound and I feel such defeat, I want to be pulled from the game I love. 

I cry to God, my Creator, “I can’t DO this anymore.  I’m at the end of my rope."  Parenting every day a four year old who rarely wants anything to do with me. and tests me at {almost} every turn.  Homeschooling my two older children. Trying to pursue a calling I believe God has put on my heart.  Serving in our community and at our church and considering another adoption.  Investing into people who don’t know Jesus while there seems to be no progress.  I say, “I can’t DO this.  I'm DONE.  Please take me out of the game! I want OFF this mound.  I don't WANT this responsibility.” 

And my Coach, our Coach, says, “Step off the mound {for a sec}, take a deep breath {find rest in Me}, and SLOW DOWN {don’t force it}.”

He BELIEVES in us. 

The mound brings us closer to the One. 

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.  And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.  And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.  Romans 5:3-5 (NLT)